Bartender, Bible Thumper, & The Bold Movement
Bartender, Bible Thumper, & The Bold Movement
I have loved and wanted to serve Jesus for as long as I can remember, but in my early 20s, I made some dumb mistakes. Let me be clear, as my husband likes to say…
Being stupid for Jesus is still stupid.
I am going to share some of the “not-so-good” decisions I made. Buckle up sis; this is about to get wild.
Bartender
I am a recovering people pleaser. I relapse more often than I care to admit, but I am working on it one day at a time. This problem, coupled with being a bartender, made it impossible for me to set out to do what I planned. You see, I thought it would be a good idea to “meet people where they are” and evangelize to them while they drank. Interestingly, I found a direct correlation that the more alcohol someone consumed, the more open they were to a discussion about Jesus. I cannot and do not recommend this approach for young women — especially people pleasers.
During this time, I found myself being more open to sinful behavior in the name of “evangelism.” Additionally, because I was a bartender, it was easy for people to believe I had been around the block with men who were not my husband which complicated my efforts even further. God does not need nor wants us to be disobedient in an effort to win a soul. My choices were stupid. I put my safety and reputation in danger because I thought I knew better than my mentors, pastors, and friends. Even when I eventually left that lifestyle and married a pastor, there were still people who I trusted that started and believed vile rumors, to make the church - and me - look bad. To this day, I am not sure why they felt the need to spread malicious gossip, but sinners sin; it’s what we do. God did use this for His glory (a story for another time), but it could have saved heartache and frustration had I not put myself in that situation. Sinning to win people for Jesus is never justified. Please learn from my mistake and just listen to wise counsel!
Bible Thumper
Often, I look back on the dumb things I have done in my life, and I can honestly say this one was the most devastating to my witness and the kingdom of God. I went to Bible college and upon graduation, I thought I knew more than most. Let me give you an example:
Have you ever seen Pretty Woman when Julia Roberts walks in with her hands full of bags and asks the sales lady if she works on commission? When the lady answers yes she says, “Big mistake. Big. Huge.” Yeah, that is my “today self” telling my naive and overconfident self “Big mistake. Big. Huge.” There are a few things that the Holy Spirit has taught me that have been vital for this Bible thumper to change her ways. 1. I had to stop expecting non-Christians to live like Christians. The minute I did that, I was able to actually invest in meaningful conversations that made them more open to the gospel. 2. I had to remember the Bible is preaching to me too. (Can you say ouch?!) 3. I had to learn it is my job, as a Christian, to present the gospel and point out what Scripture says, NOT TO CHANGE THE PERSON! That is the Holy Spirit’s job.
The Bold Movement
Finally, we come to the Bold Movement. I think this section of the blog is the hardest for me to talk about because it is my current struggle. I often feel like I am the wrong person to run a women’s ministry. I have serious anxiety and convince myself daily that this prohibits me from ministry. Also, I care too much about what others think.I thought this was a sin I had to suffer with silently. But…what if everyone thought that way? How many Christians would be in ministry? Much to my surprise, I found out that many people have similar feelings about themselves. So, if you are in this boat, HEY SIS, time to get busy doing God’s work. He loves using those who don’t have it all together. Why? For the simple reason that there’s no way, we can steal His glory. hahaha
I hope you are encouraged and I hope this helps you feel like you can serve God; right now, right where you are.
