Feeding Ourselves but Starving Our Children
Feeding Ourselves but Starving Our Children
A few nights ago, I was having dinner with my family and a fellow church member, Blake. We do this a couple of times a month and I tend to make more “adult-based” dinners. For example, on this occasion, we were eating pot roast – beef roast, potatoes, and carrots. My eight-year-old daughter, Carter, would have only eaten the carrots and maybe a bite of roast if she absolutely had to. So, to avoid an argument, I made her macaroni and cheese and a veggie and fruit platter, which is one of her favorite meals. Both my husband, Nathan, and I, were raised to finish the food on your plate or you go hungry. However, we have established a different boundary with our child. We have a rule in our home when it comes to food – you must at least try the food before you decide that you do not like it. If you do not like it, you can have something that is a quick fix, just like the macaroni and cheese and fruit platter. You are probably thinking, “What on earth does this lady’s dinner routine have to do with anything?” Just bear with me – this will all make sense in a second.
As I was fixing everyone’s plates, I noticed something, and it has stuck in my mind ever since. Nathan’s plate had a couple of potatoes and carrots, but more meat than anything else. He favors more protein than he does starches. Blake had more potatoes and carrots and just a little less meat than Nathan. I had more potatoes than anyone – come on, I’m human – and a couple of carrots and a little bit of meat. Then I looked at what I had made for Carter, microwavable mac-n-cheese and an array of veggies and fruits. By far, Carter’s meal was the quickest and easiest meal to make. However, just an hour after we were done eating, my daughter told me that she was hungry again. As I stared at the dishes that I was putting away, it hit me like a ton of bricks… this is how most churches run their ministries.
Let me explain.
My husband is training to become a pastor. He currently has a bachelor’s degree in Apologetics and will be attending seminary soon. Additionally, he has more sustenance than most men do, hence the larger meat portion. Blake is very active in the church and men’s ministry there, so he has a good portion of everything. My plate has less meat than the men, but still some. However, Carter has no meat or protein whatsoever. Folks, this is what modern kids’ ministries are looking like. All are sugary substitutes in place of actual meat. Many parents think that just because they take their child to church once a week, maybe even on a weeknight for an extra service, that their salvation is good to go. I hate to break it to you folks, but as a children’s minister, that is far from the truth.
I cannot tell you the amount of curriculum that I look at that is more moral-based with a verse here or there that has been taken out of context to fit the story. It absolutely destroys my heart. We are so focused on ourselves and our own growth that we are leaving our children starving for more. They know morals. They learn these at school. Why are we, as a body of Christ, giving our children sugary substitutes for their full meal? Why are we not trying to change it? We look at all the teens leaving the faith and saying, “What happened?” and not even taking a step back to examine what we taught in the years that we had them.
Now, do not get me wrong, the church is not solely responsible for your child’s spiritual well-being; that is a beautiful assignment that God has bestowed on parents. The church is merely a spiritual guide to help your family disciple your children. However, that is for a different day. But, if children are not being discipled at home, we must make the most of the time that we have with them. We must stop with washed-down morals and start teaching them about the Bible.
Some cold hard facts
“88% of children in evangelical homes leave the church by the age of eighteen.”
-Southern Baptist Council on Family Life report to an annual meeting of the SBC (2002)
“63% of teen Christians do not believe Jesus is the son of God.”
“51% of teen Christians do not believe in the resurrection of Jesus.”
“68% of teen Christians do not believe in the trinity.”
“33% of teen Christians openly state they do not believe the church will play an important role in their lives once they leave home.”
-The Last Christian Generation Josh McDowell, David H. Bellis, Green Key Books (2006)
“90% of high school-aged Christians who are highly active in church functions stop practicing the faith by the time they are sophomores in college.”
-The Present Future: Six Tough Questions for the Church Jossey-Bass, San Francisco (2009)
When I first read these statistics, my heart broke. I look at all the kids in our church and realize that many of them will walk away from their faith; that guts me. Therefore, we must do something. If parents are not discipling at home, we cannot stand by and say “Oh well, we tried,” as a watered-down worship song for kids plays in the background. It is our duty to hold people accountable. We have a responsibility to train the people in our church no matter how great or small. We cannot keep feasting on prime rib as our children eat candy bars for dinner. Don’t get me wrong, some candy is not bad, but as most doctors would tell you, that is not a balanced diet.
Take a deep look at what your child is learning in class. Take it one step further and learn about it together as a family. You do not need a degree to teach your child about Jesus. Just open your Bible and read together. You’re not putting on a sermon, so don’t stress – just read. Put down the candy and start making a meal that will sustain your child.
