Calling It Insecurity Doesn’t Make It Less Selfish
The Trap of Arrogance in Ministry
I never wanted The Bold Movement to be the kind of ministry that aired its dirty laundry for sport. But I also don’t want to be the kind of woman who hides behind a polished mission statement while quietly unraveling.
So here it is because I know I’m not the only woman in ministry caught in the strange space between called, calloused, and deeply insecure.
When I first stepped into ministry, I was—well, let’s call it what it was—a little too impressed with myself. I’d devoured Wayne Grudem’s Systematic Theology like it was a devotional. I could quote creeds and parse Greek verbs, and my Gigi, in her sweet Appalachian wisdom, would’ve said I was “too big for my britches.”
And she would’ve been right.
What started as holy confidence morphed into arrogance. I knew things—good things, true things—but I hadn’t yet learned how to love well. The heart hadn’t quite caught up to the head. And as it turns out, ministry without humility is a short walk to a hard fall.
That fall came—swift, painful, humbling.
And when I got up, I wasn’t just bruised. I was deeply insecure. Not the loud kind, but the quiet kind that simmers beneath the surface. The kind that starts comparing.
“Her ministry has more followers.”
“She gets more invitations to speak.”
“She seems more at peace.”
“Why do women keep going to her instead of me?”
Which inevitably spiraled into:
“What am I doing wrong?”
Key Takeaways
➤ Insecurity in ministry isn’t just emotional, it’s spiritual.
➤ Comparison is the enemy’s bait to distract the called.
➤ You can be called and still be cracking, but that doesn’t disqualify you.
When Insecurity Hides Behind the Call
And just like that, the calling I once wore like armor began to feel like a costume I wasn’t worthy to wear.
And just like that, the calling I once wore like armor began to feel like a costume I wasn’t worthy to wear.
Are any saints feeling seen, or is it just me? Regardless, please, learn from my mistakes.
I don’t tell you this to dramatize my bruises or build a pulpit out of pain. I tell you because I wish someone had told me the truth:
Ministry will cost you more than you think.
And if you’re not careful, you’ll start mistaking success for sanctification and applause for affirmation, as if the sound of clapping is proof that you are enough. But listen, sister: that’s dangerous.
Because all clapping eventually stops.
The conference ends. The followers scroll past. The crowd moves on.
And when the audience leaves… who are you then?
The enemy wants you confused about your identity—because confused Christians don’t live on mission.
The Comparison Spiral
Like me, you’ve probably lied to yourself once or twice. You know the right thing to say:
“I’m in ministry for the glory of God, not for my own gain.”
And maybe you meant it.
But if that were entirely, deeply, unshakably true, would you have clicked on this blog?
Something in the title pulled you in.
Something whispered, “She’s talking about me.”
And here’s the deep-seated truth I wish more of us would say out loud:
Knowing what you’re supposed to believe doesn’t always mean you do.
You can say all the right things and still secretly crave affirmation. You can preach identity in Christ and still feel like a fraud behind the scenes. You can wear the ministry title and still wonder if you’re failing at it quietly.
Because if your beliefs always aligned perfectly with your heart, you wouldn’t still struggle with insecurity. So if you’re somewhere between called and cracked, welcome, you’re not alone. And you’re not disqualified. In fact, you’re in good company, Jesus seems to love handing the mic to women who’ve been humbled.
In the next blog, we’re going to do something brave. We’ll drag this crazy little thing called insecurity into the light and call it what it often is: pride in disguise.
It’s sneaky. It’s sticky. And it’s stealing far too much from too many called women. So if you’re ready to stop spiraling and start healing, let’s go, there is work to do.
TL/DR
I got into ministry full of boldness—and pride. When the applause faded and comparison crept in, I found myself quietly unraveling behind a polished mission statement. This blog is for every woman who's ever felt called but cracked. We’re naming the real issue—insecurity often masks pride. And we’re not hiding anymore. If you’ve ever craved affirmation more than obedience, this is for you. Let’s drag it into the light and heal together.
Define Your Terms
(Some might call this a glossary)
TL/DR - Too Long/Didn’t Read
Systematic Theology- A way of organizing what the Bible teaches about major topics—like God, salvation, sin, and the Church—into neat, logical categories. Think of it as a blueprint for Christian belief.
Creeds - Short, powerful summaries of Christian doctrine, written by the early Church to clarify and protect the core beliefs of the faith (like the Trinity, the resurrection, and Jesus' divinity). Examples: the Apostles’ Creed, the Nicene Creed.
Parse (Greek verbs) - To "parse" a verb is to break it down and analyze its tense, mood, voice, etc.—especially in biblical Greek. It’s what theologians do when they want to understand Scripture at the sentence-DNA level.
Sanctification - The ongoing process of becoming more like Jesus. It’s not a one-and-done moment—it’s the slow, Spirit-led transformation of our hearts, minds, and actions over time.
Anointed - A biblical term meaning “chosen and empowered by God for a specific purpose.” In ministry circles, it often refers to someone who is noticeably gifted or spiritually equipped to lead or speak.
Affirmation - Emotional or verbal support—those “you’re doing great” nods we crave. Healthy in the right dose, but dangerous when we use it to define our worth.
Insecurity - A lack of confidence in who you are or what you’re called to do. Spiritually speaking, it often stems from forgetting who God says you are.
Identity in Christ - The truth that your worth, purpose, and belonging are rooted not in what you do, but in who Jesus is and what He has done for you. It’s who you are because of Whose you are.
Calling - A sense of divine assignment. It’s not just a job or talent—it’s the God-given pull on your life to serve His Kingdom in a particular way.
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Ever felt like your calling was a costume you weren’t worthy to wear? This honest look at insecurity in ministry exposes the pride we mask and invites you back to gospel-rooted confidence.