5 Lessons I Learned From Ken Idleman

5 LESSONS I LEARNED FROM Ken Idleman.

I feel like before I write this blog, I need to give you insight into my relationship with the Ken Idleman. Our friendship really began in October 2021. Yes, I remember this date fondly because it was one of my first trips to Colorado as a TSF employee (shout out to The Solomon Foundation.) I flew into Denver and then drove to Estes Park. If you have never been, this is your sign that you need to. As a girl who was born and raised in Appalachia and still lives there today, the mountains of Estes Park are a different kind of gorgeous. Sigh, I digress. I arrived in the 15-room cabin that all the employees stayed in and learned that we would be split into teams based on the department where we work. My department has a total of 1, and that is me. So, I was grouped with the marketing team and, you guessed it, Ken Idleman. I actually wrote a song about it. Yes, I will sing it for you if you ask nicely.

When I tell you I am out of shape, I mean coughing is exercise. Let me take that back; climbing the stairs to go to bed is pretty exerting. While in Colorado, more specifically in Estes Park, I learned that being from out of town can make you winded.

When I tell you I am out of shape, I mean coughing is exercise. Let me take that back; climbing the stairs to go to bed is pretty exerting. While in Colorado, more specifically in Estes Park, I learned that being from out of town can make you winded. Keep in mind what I mentioned at the start of this paragraph. I thought I was dying walking to the bathroom from the lack of oxygen. This is where my story goes downhill.

Ken was basically my partner, which meant we were together all weekend. We shot bows and arrows, and we played basketball. I kept up for the most part, but the hike got to me. The staff hiked to our team-building exercise. I was huffing and puffing and praying to God that those around me would not hear me breathing as if I had just run a 5k with no practice. I thought to myself, "Walk near Ken, and when he needs a break, you’ll get one too. After all, he was from Kentucky, and there was no way he could breathe in these elements. WRONG! Ken Idleman was leading the pack, full of energy and oxygen. “You okay, kiddo?” He asked with a friendly, totally in-shape tone. He knew I was struggling. “Ken, you need a break, don’t you?” I asked with my eyes, begging him to stop or I would collapse. He kindly agreed, and I knew from that moment on that we were going to be pals. Here are the 5 lessons I have learned by watching him since our staff trip to Estes Park.

1. Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously

Now, I mentioned earlier that I am a true-blue Appalachian. It is a heritage I am proud of, and I love to share our culture. So, when I say Ken Idleman is a celebrity to my roots, I am not exaggerating. For example, while at a conference with my sister, I saw him. I waved and yelled, “Hey, Ken!” She grabbed my arm and whisper-screamed (it’s a thing), “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! DO YOU KNOW WHO THAT IS?!” I smugly smiled at her because he waved back, and I could respond, “Yes, and it appears he knows who I am too.” Of course, to make her day, I asked Ken to sit next to her while I carried out my duties at the conference. I learned afterward that they were trying to tempt a youth to participate in a boo wave (that is not a thing) whenever I was on stage. But see, that’s the great thing about Ken. He does not let the prestige and Christian celebrity go to his head. He doesn’t take himself too seriously.

This conference was two months ago, and my sister still brags to others that she sat with and hung out with Ken. Honestly, he might not even remember it, but to a small-town children’s minister, the former president of Ozark Christian University meant a great deal. I love the fact that he probably doesn’t realize this, and I hope one day he learns about the impact he has made by just being himself and not thinking highly of who he is.

2. Jealousy is for losers

If you want to see Ken swell with pride, mention one of his children. It is amazing. He puffs up and grins ear to ear. This is significant because I have seen so many families and friends grow jealous of the success those close to them have. I have seen success measured in many ways rip apart families. Not the Idlemans, and definitely not Ken. There is no room for jealousy because his heart is so filled with pride in the children he and his wife, Kaylene, have raised. All are involved in ministry, and this is a testament to his ministry as a father while working as a pastor. For a child to want to follow in your footsteps says more than words can.

Something that fascinates me is that he sees his children as partners in ministry. He does not try to control their lives or the decisions they make, but actually does the opposite. I have seen numerous individuals ask Ken for a moment of his son’s time (a pastor of a large church), and he ALWAYS directs them to his son’s secretary, never speaking on his behalf. It is wonderful to see him let each child find their own way while he stands on the sidelines, cheering them on. He loves them. He respects them. I hope to make my parents as proud of me as he is of them.

3. Justice is Biblical

Ken showed me that it is not only necessary but Biblical to hold people accountable. Grace is vital, and mercy is amazing, but despite these essential aspects of Christianity, there needs to be a healthy mix of justice. If there was not, grace would be cheapened.

One time I asked Ken what his favorite type of movie was. I figured his answer would be something like Western’s, but he answered so quickly I felt like he knew my question before I asked. “Movies with vigilantes.” I’ll be honest; not at all what I was expecting to hear, and I am pretty sure I laughed a little. “I have a strong sense of justice,” he added.

Justice has always been a challenge for me. I try to see the good in everyone and often want healthy alternatives for folks more than they do. I want to give people second, third, fourth, and fifth chances despite their lack of effort or change, and at times felt self-righteous about my skills in forgiving. But was that really what I was doing, or was this steeply rooted in my need to be liked? Ken showed me that it is not only necessary but Biblical to hold people accountable. Grace is vital, and mercy is amazing, but despite these essential aspects of Christianity, there needs to be a healthy mix of justice. If there was not, grace would be cheapened.

4. Kaylene Idleman was the second-best decision he ever made

I only say second best because I believe his salvation in Christ was the first. Kaylene is the friend you have always wanted. I met her at an event in Nashville, TN. She was the only other woman on the trip. I spent a lot of time with her. It was amazing to me how she was able to pull so much of who I am and what makes me tick over a chicken salad sandwich. I remember leaving the restaurant thinking, “This woman is going to think I am crazy.” She might think that, but the beauty of Kaylene is that she loves you regardless. I call her last minute whenever I am in town, and she always makes time for me.

I am convinced that God is in control. But I am also convinced Ken Idleman would not be who he is or have accomplished the things he has without his bride and best friend. I am grateful for Kaylene.

5. If you say you’re going to do something, do it.

One time, I went to Aruba for a pastor’s conference. Ken and Kaylene were there, too, and it was amazing. The weather was perfect, the hotel was beautiful, and the company was superb. One of my roles on this trip was to carpool pastors from the airport to the hotel. The marketing team and I had this fantastic idea to recreate the popular skit Carpool Karaoke by James Cordon. Many were on board, and this was fun to watch in between speakers at the conference.

Since the day that this was planned, I begged Ken and Kaylene to drive around Aruba with me and sing. The day came, and it was time to drive. Ken was under the weather but hopped in the car (because he said he would). I asked what songs they were interested in singing, and he suggested I pick. I thought that was odd because most of the staff and pastors picked songs they knew. I picked a few songs I thought he would know, and he asked if I had lyrics. I did. We sang our songs, and then I brought him and Kaylene back to the hotel. That afternoon when their video played, Ken was stunned. Apparently, he thought I just wanted to cruise around Aruba and sing random songs with him and his wife. The most amazing thing about this is that HE DID.

Ken Idleman is a man of great character. I love that he is in my life and that I and many others have such a stud to look up to. Be Ken to someone.

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